What should I do first to get a divorce from my husband and deciding custody rights? 2 Answers as of April 04, 2012

I am very confused about how to proceed but here is a summary. I was married in 2009 and my husband and I bought a house. I had a son prior to the marriage (2006) and my husband had been with me since I was 3 months pregnant (he was aware) In 2010, we had a daughter together. Last week my husband said he was moving out and no begging or bargains I would make would change his mind. He told me there was nobody else. The next morning, I received a text from him stating thank you for last night and letting me get intimate with you, it was the best night of my life since my daughter was born. Well, obviously it was sent to the wrong girl and when I confronted him, he said well, now you know. He has been seeing her for a couple months. Since he moved out on Friday, he has taken down his married status to me and put "in a relationship" with this person. Is professing his love to her online and all my friends and family are seeing this ~ this is very embarrassing to me. I am currently in the house, he is supposedly at his parents. We WILL be getting a divorce, as he has moved on, but I want to know if any of this will be a determining factor. Also, seeing that my son is not his and he never adopted him, how would that play out? And what should I do first?

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Cody and Gonillo, LLP
Cody and Gonillo, LLP | Christine Gonilla
Sorry to hear of your situation and your husband's lack of discretion. While CT is a no fault state, the court can look at fault when determining alimony and property awards, so his behavior can be taken into account. But fault is only one of several other factors; and the court does not have to weigh each factor the same. Your son is not his child so there is no child support due for him nor does your husband have custody rights; however he may assert visitation rights if he can prove there is a parent/child like relationship that exists. Perhaps he would be willing to pay more for the support of the daughter you have with him based on the equities of the situation. One of you should commence the action. You can request support retroactive to the date you file your case and he will get credit for any payments he made to you between that time and the time the motion is heard by the court, which is usually about a month or so after filing.
Answer Applies to: Connecticut
Replied: 4/4/2012
Law Offices of Andrew J Spinnell, LLC
Law Offices of Andrew J Spinnell, LLC | Andrew J Spinnell
If your husband has supported your son even though he is not the biological father he is liable for child support of him until 21 yrs. old. Your house is marital property but you should be able to stay in it with your children if you can afford it with his child support and possible maintenance or alimony until the kids reach 21. Then the house may be sold and the proceeds split.
Answer Applies to: New York
Replied: 4/4/2012
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