What can I do if my ex girlfriend is threatening to accuse me of rape? 32 Answers as of November 29, 2011

I have this psycho ex girlfriend. She is also my baby's mother who has and still is harassing me and my family constantly, threatening me to sign some papers or she's going to make up lies that I raped her. Also she is one of those people that will lie, harass, but still look innocent in front of other people! I'm stuck and I feel bullied!

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Cornish, Crowley, Rockafellow, & Sartz, PLLC
Cornish, Crowley, Rockafellow, & Sartz, PLLC | Jacob Peter Sartz IV
Anyone dealing with an individual who is accusing them of a serious offense needs to be very cautious in their interactions with the potential accuser. What an accused person says can and will be used against them if the matter ultimately ends up with a criminal charge. The police may contact the parties. A person should avoid situations when they are alone with the potential accuser. Keeping a safe distance is important.
Answer Applies to: Michigan
Replied: 11/29/2011
Law Office of Daniel K Martin
Law Office of Daniel K Martin | Daniel K Martin
You should keep a record of the harassment and ask your family to do the same. Then contact an attorney as soon as possible.
Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 11/22/2011
Law Office of Ronald Aronds, LLC
Law Office of Ronald Aronds, LLC | Ronald Aronds
Call the cops and file harassment charges against her.
Answer Applies to: New Jersey
Replied: 11/21/2011
Law Office of Edward J. Blum
Law Office of Edward J. Blum | Edward J. Blum
Get into court first. File a paternity action in family court and get a restraining order. Allege the facts that she is threatening to accuse you of rape.
Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 11/19/2011
Reza Athari & Associates, PLLC | Seth L. Reszko
Sounds like a tough situation. I would get rid of the GF. You might want to have someone around as a witness every time you see her. Maybe tape a conversation you have with her where she will threaten to file rape charges against you if you don't sign.
Answer Applies to: Nevada
Replied: 11/18/2011
    Law Office of Richard Williams
    Law Office of Richard Williams | Richard Williams
    Get her on tape saying all of this,then, immediately (that day)take it to your attorney.
    Answer Applies to: Alabama
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Law Office of Geoffrey M. Yaryan
    Law Office of Geoffrey M. Yaryan | Geoffrey M. Yaryan
    First, stay away from her. If you are never alone with here, then she has no case. If the alleged rape occurred some time in the past, more than days, its unlikely the DA would file. Victims who do not immediately report something like a rape lose credibility with every day they fail to report it.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Law Office of Eric Sterkenburg
    Law Office of Eric Sterkenburg | Eric Sterkenburg
    If you have someone making or threating to make false accusations against you make sure that every incident that this happens you make a record of it. Include the names of all witnesses, time of day, date, place where this happened and the exact words and actions the threating person did. In situations like this a restraining order should be taken out against the threating person. Never have contact with that person alone. Always have someone to witness the encounter. If charges are filed you may present your evidence of false accusations to the police and charges may not be filed. If charges are filed you have to proof to show that they are more likely than not false.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    The Law Office of Marc G. Snyder | Marc Gregory Snyder
    You are in a difficult position. Our criminal system is set up so that anyone can accuse someone a crime. Of course, the police and/or the State's Attorney's Office will review the accusations and determine if charges are appropriate. Still, there is no denying that even an accusation can be very destructive. From what you describe, it sounds like you might want to move for a protective order from your ex-girlfriend. If she is harassing you and your family, that is against the law, and she could be prosecuted. At the very least, there will be a record of what she is doing and that may be very important if she were to seek charges against you down the line. Many times, people don't want to report something or have someone they know, and used to care about, investigated and maybe prosecuted. However, you are protecting yourself should she make false accusations down the line. If she were to try such a thing, there would be a record that she was harassing you and making this exact threats. This will go a long way in establishing your credibility and will make it much more likely that your side of the story will be believed. Finally, in situations such as this, it is not uncommon for charges to ultimately be filed for assault, either stemming from an argument or based on something else. First, you should stay away from her and not let there even be a chance of something happening. Two, if she were to try and have charges filed against you, again your history of reporting her would be an advantage to you. Bottom line, in situations like this, you have to be proactive and sometimes make the first move. Of course, I am not advocating filing false charges, but if she is really acting how you say, you have a legitimate complaint and should seriously consider following up on it.
    Answer Applies to: Maryland
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Andersen Law PLLC
    Andersen Law PLLC | Craig Andersen
    Keep every text, every letter, every email and every chat. If need be, get an anti harassment order and let the court know about her threats. You can also call the police. Threatening to pursue charges for any kind of gain is extortion. If the cops will take a report, at least you will have some documentation of her threat. If that doesn't work, hire an attorney. Bear in mind that you still have to pay her child support and you may want to get a parenting plan together so there is an enforceable agreement on visitation with your child and parenting details. You may want to consult with a family law attorney to have that done.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Law Office of Phillip Weiser
    Law Office of Phillip Weiser | Phillip L. Weiser
    If she makes the accusation and it results in a criminal charge against you, then you will need to consult an attorney to defend the charges.
    Answer Applies to: Kansas
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Theodore W. Robinson, P.C.
    Theodore W. Robinson, P.C. | Theodore W. Robinson
    Since you don't say what type of papers she wants you to sign, its impossible to advise you on that. However,I suggest you get a copy of the papers and take them to an attorney and ask about them. If she is harrassing you by threatening rape, its not likely she can do too much about it at this late stage after the child is already born. How will she prove such a thing without some sort of corroboration? She can't, so stop worrying so much.But see a lawyer nonetheless, just to be safe and to work out child support for the child you sired. That's probably why she is acting this way. Good luck.
    Answer Applies to: New York
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Charles M. Schiff, Attorney at Law
    Charles M. Schiff, Attorney at Law | Charles M. Schiff
    If she attempts to coerce you in front of witnesses or on some medium you can record, it would undermine her credibility. In addition, the longer the time period between the alleged act and her reporting the act to authorities, the less believable is her story. Just don't put yourself in a position to give her the opportunity to make claims against you. Don't be alone with her.
    Answer Applies to: Minnesota
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Michael Breczinski
    Michael Breczinski | Michael Breczinski
    You are being bullied. Get court orders to see the child and have nothing else to do with her.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Craig W. Elhart, P.C.
    Craig W. Elhart, P.C. | Craig Elhart
    There is little you can do to prevent someone else from making a false accuzation of a crime. However, if she files a false police report, that is a crime in itself.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Law Offices of John Carney
    Law Offices of John Carney | John Carney
    You should retain a good criminal attorney and tell him the truth about everything that happened. Perhaps you are guilty of rape and don't even know it. If you had sex without her consent you are guilty of rape. You should invest in spy equipment to record her phone calls and conversations to protect yourself. This may be illegal, but if she threatens to make a false rape charge it will be helpful to play that tape to the police who simply believe whatever a woman tells them without any investigation in most cases. In the future it would be wise to not get involved with crazy women who are usually uneducated, unsophisticated, immoral, and immature.
    Answer Applies to: New York
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    bark & karpf
    bark & karpf | peter bark
    Try to secretly record her making a threat. In New York it is legal to record in person or over the telephone, without the other person knowing she is being recorded.
    Answer Applies to: New York
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Law Office of Christopher G Humphrey PC | Christopher G Humphrey
    Wyoming is a 'one party' recording state as of this date, 11/17/2011. I would probably record her threats, and keep her texts. I would keep witnesses near by me at all times and keep track of who I am with and when; and, by all means, stop having sex with her!
    Answer Applies to: Wyoming
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Austin Legal Services, PLC
    Austin Legal Services, PLC | Jared Austin
    If they are lies it will be difficult to convict you of something you did not do and that they have no proof of. I would try getting witnesses or anyone that could corroborate her making these threats so you can use that against her if it comes to that. Do everything you can to protect yourself and I would suggest not being alone with her anymore.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Law Office of Jeff Yeh
    Law Office of Jeff Yeh | Jeff Yeh
    Don't deal with her. Especially don't talk to her. Have no contact unless it is through an attorney. I've see many people in your shoes end up in big trouble because they continued the contact.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    Law Offices of Martina A. Vigil, PC
    Law Offices of Martina A. Vigil, PC | Martina A. Vigil
    If your ex-girlfriend is threatening to accuse you of rape unless you sign papers, this is blackmail and you should call the police and file a police report.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/18/2011
    LynchLaw
    LynchLaw | Michael Thomas Lynch
    From what you describe your ex might be guilty of a crime herself. Depending on what she is try to get you to sign she might be guilty of extortion. Or, depending on the type of threats, she might be guilty of making Terrorist threats. Either way you have choices. You can either ignore her and see if she losses interest. (Remember, if you don't like trolls, then don't feed them.) You can file a petition for civil harassment in an attempt to get a restraining order against her. Or, you can report the circumstances of the matter and see if the police feel it is criminal contact as well. If you choose to report the acts be sure to consult with an attorney first, and only speak to the police with your attorney present.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    The Law Office of Harry E. Hudson, Jr.
    The Law Office of Harry E. Hudson, Jr. | Harry E. Hudson, Jr.
    I strongly suggest that you look for the meanest family law attorney you can afford. I also suggest that you document all communications between you and this person. If she telephones you , send her a letter regarding the content of that conversation. Send it in a manner that she has to acknowledge receipt and keep a copy of that letter. Do not talk to any cops without an attorney present. If you have voice mail or an answering machine, let it take all calls , especially from her. It announces that it is recording the message. People do strnage things. Do not say anything about your relationship, anymore, on any social network. You WILL need and an attorney. It will probably not be particularly inexpensive but will probably keep you out of jail or worse. and what is that worth?
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Laguzzi Law, P.C.
    Laguzzi Law, P.C. | Carina Laguzzi
    Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to prevent an accusation. Keep all correspondences between the two of you in case she does. Get a custody order to minimize communications regarding your child. If you are accused hire an experienced criminal defense attorney BEFORE deciding whether or not to give a statement.
    Answer Applies to: Pennsylvania
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Law & Mediation Office of Jeffrey L. Pollock, Esq.
    Law & Mediation Office of Jeffrey L. Pollock, Esq. | Jeffrey Lawrence Pollock
    Have no more physical relations with her so that she will have no evidence with which to lie about any sexual relationship.
    Answer Applies to: Pennsylvania
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Coulter's Law
    Coulter's Law | Coulter K. Richardson
    Tape record your conversations with her. In NY and NJ it is legal to record your conversations with the consent of ONE party. That is you. It is not what happened that matters, it is what you can prove happened that matters.
    Answer Applies to: New Jersey
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Law Office of Richard Southard
    Law Office of Richard Southard | Richard C Southard
    Try to record the conversation where she is threatening this. Or save the texts/emails if that's where it's occurring. It will be your best defense and might get her arrested for filing false charges if she goes that far.
    Answer Applies to: New York
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Connell-Savela
    Connell-Savela | Jason Savela
    Try to get her on tape saying it - in colorado, you are allowed to record any conversation that you are a part of after you get a good recording. You might want to contact the police with the information.
    Answer Applies to: Colorado
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Attorney & Counselor at Law
    Attorney & Counselor at Law | John Hugger
    If you can record her, audio or video, threatening you that she will lie, it may help.
    Answer Applies to: Colorado
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Rizio & Nelson
    Rizio & Nelson | John W. Bussman
    Those are serious charges that can make a mess of your life, even (especially) if you're innocent. You should speak with an attorney immediately. A good, proactive lawyer can work with investigators and witnesses to hopefully prevent this thing from spiraling out of control.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Law Office of James A Schoenberger
    Law Office of James A Schoenberger | James A Schoenberger
    Make a journal: date & time when she makes these threats and who else was present or heard them. Tell family and friends of the threats and ask that they make note of when you told them.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 11/17/2011
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