What is the best method when applying for joint custody? 7 Answers as of February 14, 2012

The best method is to always consider the best interests of the children and how best to make sure that both parents continue to have frequent and on going contact with the children. If you file a motion for custody, the court will have the parents see a mediator. If the parents can't work out an agreement for joint parenting, the mediator will make a recommendation which will be sent to the Judge. If either party disagrees with the recommendation, a trial can be scheduled to review the issues of parenting.

If you are absolutely sure that the baby is yours, when she is born you will be offered the opportunity to sign a document acknowledging you are the father and have your name placed on the birth certificate. However, in order to obtain a joint legal and joint physical court order, which will include a child support order, you would need to file an action with a Summons and a Petition to Establish a Parental Relationship. If you have signed the form at the hospital, that can be used to determine paternity, but as to custody, parenting time, and return of the child to California. When you file this action there are automatic temporary restraining orders, one of which is that the child cannot be removed from the State of California. You can then request that the restraining order be made permanent. When the Court hears your Petition, the Court will insist on making a child support order. Incidentally, for tax purposes the Court does not make 50/50 orders. It would most likely be Mother 51% and you 49%. You can reach an agreement that you alternate taking the child dependency tax deduction. She can be ordered to give you and IRS form giving you the right to the deduction for your alternate years (odd or even years). Unfortunately, there are no permanent Binding orders, all custody and child support orders are modifiable upon a showing of changed circumstances.

You would need to file and serve a Paternity case and either litigate custody or enter a stipulated joint custody Judgment if you and she can agree to such a Judgment.

You have to have matter before the court. In your case it would be a Paternity action to establish that you're the father and to establish custody and visitation rights. That can be stipulated by the parties, and can be done by yourself or via an attorney. As a caveat, most judges are reluctant to grant 50/50 custody of an infant child if the mother is breast feeding. However, if the parties agree to it, then the court will go along with it. If you don't think that mom will agree, but may give you notable time with the child you may want to establish a visitation pattern before seeking the paternity action. Of course, as part of the action child support will also be imposed.

Because you said "girlfriend" in your question, it seems you're not married. Assuming not, then you'll need to file a parentage action to establish paternity. As part of parentage action, you can request the custody terms you want. Best to hire a local family law lawyer to help you.

The most secure way to proceed would be to retain an attorney who will file a paternity petition and child custody and visitation support motion.

If the other parent is not in agreement to this arrangement, then yes, you do have to go to court to get custody orders.