Is it better for my wife to file for divorce or should I? 26 Answers as of June 26, 2013

It feels like our relationship is coming to an end, if it isn't already. I don't know what other details you will need. Thank you for your help.

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Bruning & Associates, PC
Bruning & Associates, PC | Kevin Bruning
I would recommend it be the party to file for divorce. Divorce cases are litigation. Generally, in my opinion, there is an unwritten advantage to being the plaintiff in any lawsuit.
Answer Applies to: Illinois
Replied: 11/28/2011
Reza Athari & Associates, PLLC | Seth L. Reszko
Generally, it doesn't matter who files first. Strategically, it is probably better to file first, so you are not in a position of defending.
Answer Applies to: Nevada
Replied: 11/17/2011
Goldberg Jones
Goldberg Jones | Zephyr Hill
It rarely matters who files first. There are many things to consider before filing and you may want to plan/time this process as best as you can.
Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 11/17/2011
John E. Kirchner, Attorney at Law
John E. Kirchner, Attorney at Law | John Kirchner
Generally, the fact of who files has no significance to the legal situation. It may or may not have an emotional impact.
Answer Applies to: Colorado
Replied: 11/17/2011
AyerHoffman, LLP
AyerHoffman, LLP | Cara Lee Thompson
If you agree on all terms, then you can certainly file a joint petition. However, if you do not agree, then it may be best for you to file. Although the plaintiff petitioner ultimately does not obtain that much control over the proceedings, it does allow you some control at the beginning, and certainly allows you to get the first stab at the facts.
Answer Applies to: Massachusetts
Replied: 11/17/2011
    Rhonda R. Werner Schultz, PL
    Rhonda R. Werner Schultz, PL | Rhonda R. Werner Schultz
    It does not matter which one of you files first as the court does not make any decisions based upon who files. Wisconsin is a no fault divorce, so whoever files is merely requesting the court to divorce the couple. If you have not already done so, you should have a consultation with an attorney to determine what the issues are in your case and how they are likely to be resolved.
    Answer Applies to: Wisconsin
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Law Offices of Arlene D. Kock
    Law Offices of Arlene D. Kock | Arlene D. Kock
    You should have a frank discussion with your spouse concerning the state of affairs to see if you are both on board to cooperate in participating in an uncontested divorce.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/17/2011
    Alfred Law Firm
    Alfred Law Firm | Janice Alfred
    It really does not matter who files. If you both agree to everything you can be divorced 31 days after filing depending on the county. I do suggest that one of you consults with an attorney to help you draft the petition and Settlement Agreement so that all relevant issues can be addressed.
    Answer Applies to: Georgia
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Joanna Mitchell & Associates, P.A.
    Joanna Mitchell & Associates, P.A. | Joanna Mitchell
    It really doesn't matter who files first, at least not as far as how the issues are decided. However, if you file first, then you won't be just waiting around for her to do something.
    Answer Applies to: Florida
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Attorney & Counselor at Law
    Attorney & Counselor at Law | John Hugger
    First, I would always recommend a marriage encounter weekend to try to save your marriage, if you care to try to save it. Marriage Encounter Worldwide is a nondenominational non-profit organization that affiliates with churches to hold weekend sessions. Next, it should not make a difference as to who actually files, but some attorneys believe that it is better to be the petitioning party. I would certainly consult with an attorney before filing, especially if there are minor children (or child) from the marriage.
    Answer Applies to: Colorado
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    The Law Offices of Mandy J. McKellar
    The Law Offices of Mandy J. McKellar | Mandy J. McKellar
    It does not matter who files first.
    Answer Applies to: Nevada
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Gary Moore, Attorney at Law
    Gary Moore, Attorney at Law | Gary Moore
    It really does not matter. New Jersey is a no fault state.
    Answer Applies to: New Jersey
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Law Offices of Steven A. Hemmat
    Law Offices of Steven A. Hemmat | Steven A. Hemmat
    There is not a significant advantage of filing first; however on rare occasions the filing party can have the matter dismissed as a matter of right. Speak with an experienced attorney for more information.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Fox Law Firm LLC
    Fox Law Firm LLC | Tina Fox
    It really doesn't matter who files for divorce. If you are both in agreement of divorcing you should sit down together and also agree on other matters, such as who will get what (i.e. vehicles, custody of the children, if applicable, joint or sole custody). Any time you can go to your attorney with agreements in place it saves your attorney time, and ultimately save you money.
    Answer Applies to: Illinois
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Wolfstone, Panchot & Bloch, P.S., Inc.
    Wolfstone, Panchot & Bloch, P.S., Inc. | Mark Brown
    In Washington state, there are some tactical advantages to being the party who has filed the case in the event of litigation. If all matters are agreed (i.e., an uncontested divorce) ,then it makes no difference who files.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Law Office of Cassandra Savoy
    Law Office of Cassandra Savoy | Cassandra Savoy
    The aim of the court in a divorce to equity and fairness. In my opinion, it does not matter who files first.
    Answer Applies to: New Jersey
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    David A. Browde, P.C.
    David A. Browde, P.C. | David Browde
    It makes no difference at all.
    Answer Applies to: New York
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Odin, Feldman & Pittleman, P.C.
    Odin, Feldman & Pittleman, P.C. | Richard A. Gray
    It depends on the case. I prefer to represent the Plaintiff in a litigated case simply because the Plaintiff generally gets to present his or her case first if it is a contested case; forcing the other side to sit through your entire case before they get a chance to offer much rebuttal testimony.
    Answer Applies to: Virginia
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Glenn E. Tanner
    Glenn E. Tanner | Glenn E. Tanner
    It matters little who files first.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 6/26/2013
    Law Office of Michael W. Bugni
    Law Office of Michael W. Bugni | Jay W. Neff
    Unless you are anticipating a hotly contested divorce, it probably doesn't make any difference which of you files first.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Diana K. Zilko, Attorney at Law
    Diana K. Zilko, Attorney at Law | Diana K. Zilko
    It does not really matter who files first, but most people who know a divorce is coming, like to file first.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Michael Apicella
    Michael Apicella | Apicella Law and Mediation
    In California, there is no advantage or disadvantage regarding who files for divorce. I.e. the "petitioner" has no superior rights over the "respondent," and vice versa, simply by reason of filing the divorce petition. If you need further assistance, it's best to hire a local family law lawyer to learn your rights and how best to manage your divorce.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 11/16/2011
    Hugo Florido ESQ.
    Hugo Florido ESQ. | Hugo Florido
    It makes no difference. The Petitioner normally pays the filing fees.
    Answer Applies to: Florida
    Replied: 11/16/2011
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