If un-married parents, living together paternity not established, father got DNA test, doesn't want legal ties, what will happen? 1 Answers as of June 07, 2017

I had my daughter in 2015 after a pregnancy in which her father was unusually cruel as to my assertion he was the father. Despite his treatment towards me, I naively wiped the slate clean after the DNA tests he brought to the hospital came back and he immediately entered her life in a fully supportive role but made it very clear he never wanted to legally claim her for financial reasons. I went back to work when she was 7 weeks old but due to daycare costs and costs to commute to work, I was unable to pay rent alone. Instead of him paying child support so I could afford to live alone, I ended up moving in with him when she was 3 months old. We moved in as solely roommates with the intention that I would save money and find a roommate situation elsewhere. I was working ten hour shifts and he had switched to nights so that he could pick her up in the evening after he slept as my employer would not give me hours that fit in the daycare centers hours of operation. He was gone for military training for 6 weeks and his mother and a friend of mine picked up his time. Even with 6 weeks away, after 4 months of this schedule it became immediately apparent he did not have the patience to stay with our daughter. I tried desperately to find evening daycare and was unable to do so; my employer even tried. I would have to find a new job. I would need to find one that had hours within daycare hours of operation. He knew that I could not afford full time daycare alone and would need to move out in order to qualify for daycare assistance (despite his insistence I lie to the state about his parentage). He also knew that if I did not live with him, he would not see his daughter as often and after his increased depression and lack of patience he knew he would not have overnights with her. He wanted to go back to his old position with the railroad and wanted me to stay home with our daughter; paying my car payment and insurance was far cheaper than paying child support and it gave him unlimited access to our daughter.

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Law Offices of Helene Ellenbogen, P.S.H | Helene Ellenbogen
You both seem to be in a world of make belief. Child support is the right of the child and there is no reason he should not pay it. All you have to do is either go to court to establish it or be truthful with DSHS and the state will establish child support to pay itself (the tax payer) back for any public benefits the child receives. If he wants to see the child, he needs to establish his legal paternity either in the action to establish child support (parentage petition) or if that is established first, in a petition to establish a parenting plan. There is no reason for you to not follow the appropriate legal process as this is detrimental to both you and more importantly, to the child.
Answer Applies to: Washington
Replied: 6/7/2017
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