How do I get custody of my son? 23 Answers as of January 23, 2012

You need to file a motion with the court to change custody or increase your parenting time. A mediator will meet with you, the boy and his mother to try to reach an agreement. If that doesn't work, the mediator will make a recommendation. If you don't like the recommendation, you can explain your position to a judge.

File an Order to Show Cause, with an Application for Order and Supporting Declaration, seeking a modification of Child Custody. You would best retain the services of an experienced Family Law Attorney to represent you in your Child Custody case. If you can't afford one, seek assistance from the Superior Court's self-help clinic.

First, you file an Order to Show Cause (FL-300) and ask the Court to Modify the Custody arrangements so that your son can live wit you. Be sure to ask to Modify your support obligation as well, because if you don't you will still be liable for your child support payment even if your son moves in with you. Compose a Declaration regarding the reasons why you want to modify the current custody arrangement. 12 years old is a good time in a boy's life to live with his father and learn about what his dad does and how he does things. The Court is obligated to make a decision in the child's "best interests" and this may well be in the best interest of your son to come live with you. If you want your son to play sports and be more active, make the argument to the court that this is something that you can provide him and will provide him. If you think that coming to live with you will give him access to a better school or more structure in his life or help with his homework or even just so that he can come to know you by living with you, this is a great time to make all of those arguments. In addition, 12 is an age where the Court will take the child's wishes seriously - although it won't be dispositive in the case, the Court will consider what your son wants. You can also file the motion and then ask for mediation. Maybe you can get this done by agreement without asking the judge. If your ex is not willing and you think you can provide a better living environment, tell the Court about it in your declaration. I split with many family lawyers on this issue, but I urge you to focus on what you offer your son, not what your wife does badly. Just state that it is your wish that your son be active and play sports, that you want to show him who you are, let the court know that you have a bedroom for him, clothes for him, that you've never missed a child support payment, and that you can provide a great environment for him to flourish. If you must speak of your ex, do it as minimally as possible, highlight why you are great not why she is bad.

Do you currently have custody orders or are you working with a "handshake agreement". I find it very rare, but have seen parents of a child run along perfectly fine for 8-10 years without every solidifying things in court. If you have been to court, you need to file a Motion to Modify. If you have never gotten orders to start with, this would be a new case to establish paternity in which you would ask for custody orders. It may be two ways of achieving the same goal, but you have to start with the appropriate pleadings AND if this is informal, you may want to get something from her acknowledging you have been paying the agreed upon child support before you let her in on the secret you are filing for primary custody.

You have to file a Motion for a change of custody. You will need to provide the court of evidence that there has been a substantial change in circumstances since the last custodial order affecting the welfare of the child and that a change in the custodial designation is in the child's best interest.

I can tell you that since he's 12, and also since living with you would mean taking him away from his two brothers, you're going to be fighting an uphill battle unless he actually wants to live with you and is willing to come tell the court that he does and why. You'd need to seek a custody modification, but this is just not something I would recommend trying on your own unless your ex is willing to agree to it.

You will need to file for a modification of custody and in order for the court to rule in your favor you will need to prove two things. To modify an existing custody order there must be a material change in circumstances. If your son is morbidly obese for his age you can make the case that his weight and his mother's refusal to address the problem is a material change in circumstances. Second, you will need to show that it is the best interests of the child that he live with you. Here you will want to have in place a plan to get your son's health in check, why your home is more suitable, and any situation at his mother's house that is clearly not in his best interests. Changing custody is difficult, you should retain an attorney that is experienced in family law and preferably one that will do the needed research into childhood obesity issues to help your case.

Your son may be old enough to elect which parent he wants to live with. You should speak with a family law attorney at your earliest convenience about filing to change custody.

To change custody or visitation where the parents don't agree, you need to file a motion with the court.

A change in custody is no simple matter. It requires showing that the child is endangered, a very steep burden under Minnesota law, and that the benefit of the change would outweigh any harm caused by the change. To determine whether a threshold case can be made, you must consult with experienced legal counsel.

You need to go to court and have a modification to have that changed.

To change the custody arrangement, you need to file a complaint for modification in the probate and family court. It will be difficult to convince te court that after 12 years, custody should be taken from mother and given to you. It is much more likely that you may be able to negotiate more parenting time, unless the circumstances are extreme and his mother is not caring properly for child. In any case, I would suggest contacting a local lawyer for assistance because this will most likely be an uphill battle.