How high are the chances of my boyfriend getting custody over his son? 6 Answers as of January 26, 2012

The mediator will try to get the parties to work out an agreement If they can't, the mediator will make a recommendation regarding custody and a parenting plan. If your boyfriend likes it, he can urge the judge to adopt the recommendation If he doesn't like it, he can ask for a trial to show the judge why the recommendation should be different.

On those facts, your boyfriend will likely receive orders providing him some custodial time, but the percentage of physical custody will depend on the evidence brought before the court; if your boyfriend had a significant role in his son's life before the mother cut him off, he will likely get a larger percentage of physical custody than the percentage that he would get if he had a relatively insignificant role in his son's life. The mother's attitude and conduct will likely harm her to some extent in the custody proceedings, since she did not allow "frequent and continuing contact" between the father and son.

I don't know that on the facts as you present them, your boyfriend will get 50/50 right away. The court can give him a step up plan and work him up to an equal 50% timeshare.

It is unfortunate that Mom has denied access to the child's father. It sounds like she is in sore need of some education about how important fathers are to children; and when dad attends the mediation, I would advise him to request that Mom receive that education. Custody is based on what is best for the child. An 18 month-old should generally have a primary caregiver (more time in one home) and frequent and continuous contact with their other parent. But there is no reason that you stated that would preclude dad from getting an equal timeshare as the child gets older. Of course, an equal timeshare depends on many things: including distance between the parents' home, the child's personal ability to handle the transitions, and - important for you - the two parents's ability to maintain a professional relationship. To you, this means that no matter how much Mom may irk you, your job is to be a friend to the child (you are friend, not parent) and stay out of any conflict between the parents. All you can do is make sure your home is a soft place to fall for that child - no negative comments about mom, lots of support and understanding that sharing homes is difficult, and recognition that this child is what is most important.

Your boyfriends future relationship with his son is at stake. Consequently, it would be a wise investment for him to meet with an experienced family law attorney to explore his legal options and to protect his relationship with his son.

He will get some type of order for custody and visitation, but it is impossible to state how likely it is that he gets everything he asks for. It is important that all the information be provided about her refusal to allow visitation and her direct statements as to why.