How can I make the best custody arrangement for my kids since we are filing for divorce and they have a good father? 31 Answers as of September 12, 2012

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Lombardi Law LLC
The bet custody arrangements are those which are made by two parents who agree that the best interests of the children will be protected if each has the child 50 % of the time. That is where the court starts - at 50/50. If you can agree on all elements of your divorce you can file what is called a dissolution and get through the system fairly quickly. An attorney can help you draw up the paperwork so that it represents what you want as far as the divorce and custody.
Answer Applies to: Alaska
Replied: 9/12/2012
The Law Office of Cathy R. Cook
The Law Office of Cathy R. Cook | Cathy R. Cook
You will probably want to have shared parenting. That means joint decision making on the major issues for your children, such as medical, school, activities, discipline. Most courts have proposed parenting schedules based upon the developmental stages of children.
Answer Applies to: Ohio
Replied: 9/12/2012
Havens Law, LLC
Havens Law, LLC | William Havens Nebeker
The best custody arrangement comes down to this: 1) What do you want to get out of the Custody Arrangement? What are your values? 2) What does your ex want out of the Custody Arrangement? What are his values? And 3) What do your kids want out of the Custody Arrangement? What are their values? In essence, the ultimate custody arrangement is the result of good negotiations with an understanding of the above questions. Children need both a Father and a Mother, if their Father is good he needs to be included into their lives as much as possible. It is in the best interests of the children but also good for the Father. I suggest you avoid trial, hire an attorney that will act as a coach. The attorney can show you what is typical and explain points of dispute and the law and oversee the stipulation that includes the custody arrangement. I do this quite often, I prefer amiable divorces, it saves the emotions and the money. The best custody arrangements results from stipulated divorces, that is divorces that are agreed to and don't go to trial. It makes the best of a bad situation.
Answer Applies to: Utah
Replied: 9/11/2012
Hamblin Law Office | Sally Hamblin
One that you know will work and benefit the kids. It is usually good for children to have structure and a set time visitation schedule.
Answer Applies to: Michigan
Replied: 9/10/2012
Thomas P. Carnes, Attorney & Mediator | Thomas P. Carnes
This is easy. Agree to a possession arrangement that works for you, your husband, and the kids. If you two agree, the chances are the court will approve, and you will maintain a positive co-parenting relationship which is the best thing you can do for your kids, and probably yourself.
Answer Applies to: Texas
Replied: 9/10/2012
    Joanna Mitchell & Associates, P.A.
    Joanna Mitchell & Associates, P.A. | Joanna Mitchell
    You should consult with an attorney who can help you devise a parenting plan that is good for both of you and in the best interest of the children.
    Answer Applies to: Florida
    Replied: 9/10/2012
    Steven Alpers | Steven Alpers
    You need to show you are a good parent and that the children benefit from there contact with you.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/10/2012
    Law Offices of Richard K. Jolliffe | Richard K. Jolliffe
    You can enter into an agreement with your husband regarding custody and visitation and incorporate that into the final judgment. If you cannot reach an agreement the court will send you to Family Court Services where you will meet with a mediator who will try to get the two of you to work out an agreement. In some counties, Family Court Services makes a recommendation to the court which often is made the judgment.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Mary W Craig P.C. | Mary W Craig
    If your kids have a good father, and the two of you can get along well enough to work out an agreement, you should do that. One of you will need primary physical custody, but you can agree on joint custody where the two of you make joint decisions about schools and doctors, that sort of thing. Whichever one of you has primary physical custody should get child support from the other. The very best thing you can do is not let your feelings about your soon to be ex cloud the way the two of you work out what to do with your kids. You are connected to this man forever because of these children. Whoever gets visitation should get as much visitation as possible. Don't ever ask the kids to choose between the two of you. None of this is their fault.
    Answer Applies to: Alabama
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Diefer Law Group, P.C.
    Diefer Law Group, P.C. | Abel Fernandez
    You should discuss this with the father and try to come up with a schedule that both of you feel is good for the children. If the children are old enough, you might want to ask them for their feedback on a proposed schedule.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Diana K. Zilko, Attorney at Law
    Diana K. Zilko, Attorney at Law | Diana K. Zilko
    The best agreement for custody is always the one where the parents sit down with each other and work out the arrangement that works for the two of them and the kids. Depending on their ages, it might be appropriate to have an alternating 1-week schedule (week on/week off), or alternating 2 days on 3 off and 2 on. You'll consider their ages, school schedules, activities, and the like. Younger kids typically need more frequent contact with each parent, so a 2/3/2 schedule might do the trick. I
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Musilli Brennan Associates PLLC
    Musilli Brennan Associates PLLC | John F Brennan
    Discuss custody and parenting time with your soon to be ex, work out a program which will be best for the children.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Mike Yeksavich | Mike Yeksavich
    Negotiate with each other in the children's best interests.
    Answer Applies to: Oklahoma
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Law Offices of Mark L. Wells, PC
    Law Offices of Mark L. Wells, PC | Mark L. Wells
    I encourage you to keep it uncontested and work at getting an agreement. The only people that win in a divorce fight are the attorneys. So let there be give and take between you and your husband, and try to have only one attorney involved.
    Answer Applies to: Georgia
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    John E. Kirchner, Attorney at Law
    John E. Kirchner, Attorney at Law | John Kirchner
    By sitting down with the father and making a good faith effort to devise a parenting plan that you can both follow without dispute. More than anything else, that plan needs to provide for the fact that you and the father will never agree on everything, so the plan needs to provide for how disagreements will be resolved and it should be understood that the plan only applies when you don't agree. Obviously, there is no reason that you can't deviate from anything in the plan when both of you agree to deviate - either temporarily or permanently. In all other aspects, you should make every effort to look at things through the eyes of your children and try to agree to what is best for them - not just what you or he want.
    Answer Applies to: Colorado
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Warner Center Law Offices of Donald F. Conviser
    Warner Center Law Offices of Donald F. Conviser | Donald F. Conviser
    Work it out with the father, taking into consideration your and his schedules and time commitments, equally dividing holidays, vacations, special days, and giving each other the right of first refusal.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Rebecca Rainwater
    Rebecca Rainwater | Rebecca Rainwater
    If you both are seeking to divorce amicably and want to avoid the cost of attorneys and court you should consider using a family law mediator. You should look for an experienced mediator and preferably one who is a licensed family law attorney so they can advise you of the law. They do not represent either party and act as a neutral. They can write your Marital Settlement Agreement and prepare and file all the necessary paperwork. You save a lot of money and time proceeding in this manner rather than hiring attorneys.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Blough Law Office | Janis L. Blough
    An experienced attorney would help you understand the usual reasonable parenting time arrangement, and from there you and your spouse can work out a timetable that suits your schedules and those of your children. The other thing you need to know is that you can vary from the schedule any time by mutual agreement, but you will be best off "trading" days or weekends or holidays at the time you make a change, so there won't be any misunderstandings and arguments later. Be sure to keep the lines of communication open and always put your childrens' interest ahead of your own. Good luck!
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Leonard A. Kaanta, P.C. | Leonard A. Kaanta
    Once you file for divorce, you will a meeting with the Friend of the Court to set up custody visitation and child support orders.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Theodora Fader | Theodora Fader
    You should agree to a schedule that works for all concerned with the children's best interest in mind.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Best thing to do is to make sure that you and your ex live in the same school zones to make the logistics of joint physical custody easiest. Joint physical custody generally consists of one week on one week off with exchanges on Friday after school or if there is no school sometime in the evening. The parents alternate the children's birthdays and holidays. Mom gets them for her birthday and Mother's Day and Dad gets them for Father's Day and his birthday.
    Answer Applies to: Nevada
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    David A. Browde, P.C.
    David A. Browde, P.C. | David Browde
    A well crafted settlement agreement will include provision for this - presumably some form of joint legal custody, with residential custody to be negotiated and included in the agreement.
    Answer Applies to: New York
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Barbara Fontaine, Esquire | Barbara Fontaine
    There is not enough information to give a full answer, but if you live very near each other (same school district ) you could try joint placement. Otherwise make sure both parents spend lots of time with the children. Since he is a good father, that will be very important.
    Answer Applies to: Rhode Island
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Beaulier Law Office
    Beaulier Law Office | Maury Beaulier
    Your question is far too broad. Not every schedule is right for every child. It depends opn many things including works schedules, age and more.
    Answer Applies to: Minnesota
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    The Davies Law Firm, P.A.
    The Davies Law Firm, P.A. | Robert F. Davies, Esq.
    The best custody arrangement? You need some legal advice and then you need to decide what is best for you and your kids. You need a lawyer to sit down with you and give you some advice.
    Answer Applies to: New Jersey
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Glenn E. Tanner
    Glenn E. Tanner | Glenn E. Tanner
    No one knows what is best for you kids better than you and the father.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Victor Varga | Victor Varga
    That's between you and the father. If the court has to decide, it will do so based upon what is in the best interest of the children.
    Answer Applies to: Maryland
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    T.K. Byrne | Timothy K. Byrne
    Perhaps joint custody or expanded visitation.
    Answer Applies to: Mississippi
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    R. Jason de Groot, P.A
    R. Jason de Groot, P.A | R. Jason de Groot
    It's called a time sharing agreement. You will probably be able to find a form at for this. Then you need to sit down with the spouse and determine how everything willl work, which days with you, which days with the spouse, and agree upon everything. You really do need the advice of an experienced family law attorney in order to cover all of the possibilities. Way too many little things can go wrong. You both need to read Florida Statutes section 61.13(3). It can be an uncontested divorce if you agree upon all of the issues.
    Answer Applies to: Florida
    Replied: 9/9/2012
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