How can I get a divorce? 18 Answers as of May 31, 2011

I want to divorce my husband. We have been married nearly 3 years. There have been episodes of domestic abuse and he has moved out several times. We have a 21 month old daughter together and this is no environment for her to grow up in. We bought a house last August, a car in January, and we have some credit card debt (about $2000) along with our regular bills. My husband has chosen to work out of state, leaving my daughter and me for 7-9 months out of the year. I am glad he is gone. I no longer feel threatened or have to fight constantly. My daughter is adjusting to life without him and I feel we are better off. My main concern is her welfare. I would like to remain at our home, but do not know if I can afford it. I also don't know if I can even afford a divorce or if he will give me one.

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Berner Law Group, PLLC
Berner Law Group, PLLC | Jack Berner
If you reside in Washington, which is a "no fault" divorce state, it's not up to him whether you get divorced or not, but he could contest the terms of the divorce. You have a complicated situation that demands competent and aggressive legal representation. Feel free to contact my office for a free, no obligation consultation-by phone or in person-about this situation.
Answer Applies to: Washington
Replied: 5/31/2011
Law Office of Curry & Westgate
Law Office of Curry & Westgate | Patrick Curry
You have to file the paperwork for divorce or hire an attorney to do it for you.
Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 5/27/2011
Glenn E. Tanner
Glenn E. Tanner | Glenn E. Tanner
He doesn't "give"you a divorce in Washington. If you want a divorce you will get one.He'll have to pay child support. You'll have to have an appropriate parenting plan and a fair and equitable division of your debts and property.
Answer Applies to: Washington
Replied: 5/27/2011
Law Office of Robert L. Fiedler
Law Office of Robert L. Fiedler | Robert L Fiedler
Let us lear something up for you up front. He doesn't have to want to get divorced. All it takes is for one of the parties to stand before a judge at the end of the case and state the the marriage has broken down completely and that there is no chance of saving it. The rest of the case is figuring out a parenting plan and support, and the division of assets and debts. You may be in financial binds given all the purchases you have recently made. You may have to make sacrifices. I would work with you to try to minimize your "losses" while advancing your claims. You are always free to call me.
Answer Applies to: Connecticut
Replied: 5/27/2011
John E. Kirchner, Attorney at Law
John E. Kirchner, Attorney at Law | John Kirchner
You do not have to depend on whether your husband will "give" you a divorce. In Colo if you believe the marriage is irretrievably broken, there is nothing he can do to stop it. You need to find an attorney to at least consult with for an hour to get a better understanding of your options based on all the relevant information. If you and your husband cannot work out a suitable agreement, the divorce court will have to decide how to allocate the debts and property, establish a parenting plan for your daughter and establish child support obligations. The process starts with filing a petition to dissolve the marriage which you can do yourself, but you really should at least try to speak with an attorney.
Answer Applies to: Colorado
Replied: 5/27/2011
    Law Office of James Lentz
    Law Office of James Lentz | James Lentz
    Let's begin with the most important question: in every state you can get a divorce. Your husband does not have to "(G)ive it to you". As to the rest, sit down with a family law practitioner and discuss the issues you have outlined. Most will allow one meeting at no fee. And the many concerns you have are are based upon local law, which varies dramatically over the fifty states.
    Answer Applies to: Ohio
    Replied: 5/27/2011
    Seattle Divorce Services
    Seattle Divorce Services | Michael V. Fancher
    Under Washington law you don't need your husband's consent to obtain a divorce. I would suggest you consult with an attorney in your area to find out more about what to expect. If you find that you cannot afford to have an attorney represent you, you might consider hiring an attorney to assist you in representing yourself, such as by preparing the paperwork for you. You might also want to contact your county bar association to see if there are any programs for helping you, such as a volunteer legal clinic.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 5/27/2011
    Reeves Law Firm, P.C.
    Reeves Law Firm, P.C. | Roy L. Reeves
    He does not have to give you a divorce. In Texas, it takes two to be married, one to quit. So, if you want the divorce, you can get it. Since there is domestic violence, you can ask for Sole Custody of your daughter and you can ask for some temporary support - did you file any charges, take photos, have friends who can back it up - in other words, do you have any proof?
    Answer Applies to: Texas
    Replied: 5/27/2011
    Goolsby Law Office
    Goolsby Law Office | Richard Goolsby
    It is important that you find a divorce lawyer in your community to discuss ALL the facts and circumstances. For instance, you did not say how much money he makes, or how much equity, if any, you have, or whether or not he has a retirement account, or other funds. You should discuss all these matters with your own divorce attorney. You might also consider making out a budget to help you plan how much you would need. We discuss planning a budget in our divorce law blog.
    Answer Applies to: Georgia
    Replied: 5/27/2011
    The Davies Law Firm, P.A.
    The Davies Law Firm, P.A. | Robert F. Davies, Esq.
    He does not have control over whether you divorce him. You are in control. You mentioned a lot of serious problems, and I have dealt with all of these things before. I can assist you. Why don't you come in to see me, and I will go over your situation and give you some advice. I will not charge you for the first meeting. It is time. You do not need to put up with this. I can help you get your life (and your baby girl's life) back on track. Give me a call, make an appointment to come see me, and let's get moving on this for you. No charge for the first office visit. I know people worry about how expensive a lawyer is, so I am careful to be as inexpensive as I can for my clients. Before you spend a dime, you will know how much this is likely to be.
    Answer Applies to: New Jersey
    Replied: 5/27/2011
    Cody and Gonillo, LLP
    Cody and Gonillo, LLP | Christine Gonilla
    Without knowing the numbers it is not possible to discuss the financial issues. you don't need his permission to get a divorce in CT.
    Answer Applies to: Connecticut
    Replied: 5/27/2011
    Beaulier Law Office
    Beaulier Law Office | Maury Beaulier
    Answers to complex divorce questions are never easy and certainly not questions that can be answered from a one paragraph statement. In the end, there are many potential options in a divorce related to preserving the home, determining custody, child support and spousal support. To review potential options, a full spectrum of facts must be reviewed. As a result. you must consult with an attorney as soon as possible.
    Answer Applies to: Minnesota
    Replied: 5/26/2011
    Michael Anthony Wing, P.C.
    Michael Anthony Wing, P.C. | Michael Anthony Wing
    It is not up to him. However, studies show that children from two parent homes are better adjusted than single parent homes. If you can work it out for the benefit of the child, do so. If not, he doesn't have to agree to a divorce. If it is not a divorce by agreement, then it is a contested divorce, which generally costs more. Stay well.
    Answer Applies to: Alabama
    Replied: 5/26/2011
    Law Office of L. Paul Zahn
    Law Office of L. Paul Zahn | Paul Zahn
    To obtain a divorce, the first step is to file a Petition For Dissolution of Marriage. In California, you don't need his consent to terminate your marriage. As for the home, it is impossible for me to say if you can keep the home without looking into your finances. If you are in my area and are looking for an attorney, please contact me for a free consultation.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 5/26/2011
    Warner Center Law Offices of Donald F. Conviser
    Warner Center Law Offices of Donald F. Conviser | Donald F. Conviser
    If you want to get a divorce and can't afford an attorney, you should go to the Court's self-help clinic for assistance. You need to consider whether or not you are prepared to go to work, or to try to get child support and spousal support (spousal support would be limited to 1/2 the duration of the marriage) to try to survive on. If the problems have subsided with your husband being out of town for the majority of the time, you need to consider how things are when he is in town when you determine whether or not you want a divorce. Your house likely has little equity, and you likely wouldn't be able to afford to pay its mortgage and real property taxes, if you get a divorce, unless you can get a job that pays you a substantial income, or unless your husband earns so much that you would qualify for substantial child and spousal support - but remember that the duration of your spousal support will be limited to 1/2 the duration of your marriage. In terms of whether or not your husband will "give" you a divorce, you don't need his consent to divorce him. You would best consult with an experienced Family Law Attorney to assist you in making your decision.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 5/26/2011
    Edward Papa, Esq.
    Edward Papa, Esq. | Edward Papa
    You should be able to get a divorce on grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment or no-fault in NY. He does not need to "give you one". Without knowing your particulars, whether you can afford your current standard of living post divorce is unknown.
    Answer Applies to: New York
    Replied: 5/26/2011
    Beresford Booth PLLC
    Beresford Booth PLLC | S. Scott Burkhalter
    In Washington State, you commence a divorce by filing a petition and other required legal pleadings together with a filing fee. In your case, it appears temporary restraining orders may be appropriate. I would be happy to help.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 5/26/2011
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