How can I find out who my real father is? 1 Answers as of June 03, 2011

I was born in 1965, my mother married at conception. She was separated and had a relationship with another married man. I have an older sis of the marriage too. This man is on my birth cert, denies paternity, suppose has a support order. I have never met him and he does not acknowledge me to present. Father when in her teen took in the older sister and I was informally adopted and had several homes. I am now an adoptive parent myself and have two bio kids. This mans name is still my maiden name is "plastered" all over my kids certificates as being related. My bio mother is mentally ill and her story of my birth changes every time I ask. Some days this guy is my real dad, other times she does not know and a few times she has told me the other man is my dad. The not knowing is the most embarrassing thing in the whole world. I have written this legal father and tried to ask to meet him and sent picture and have been blown off and no response. How stuck am I? How can I find out the real truth? I need to know how paternity was established and if there were tests in the 60's what kind of tests. I am afraid people will pass before I find the truth. If he is not my real dad can I get him off my cert, if he is really my dad but just a smuck that is another story. As an adoptive parent myself I know that this should be settled before my own kids ask questions about their own birthparents. Please help or let me know what others do in my situation. I am in upstate New York and work with special needs children.

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Theodore W. Robinson, P.C.
Theodore W. Robinson, P.C. | Theodore W. Robinson
I'm sorry for your unfortunate circumstances, but rest assured, as long as you're here on earth, you're legitimate in God's eyes. First, there was no DNA test back in the 60's. They only started to come into usage in the late 80's and even later began to start to used to prove paternity. I believe you can go to Family Court and ask for a paternity test, but I'm not sure you have any real standing to do so unless there is something at rish, such as child support that would have to be paid if paternity was established or not. That would probably be up to your mother to initiate and not you. You also may be able to consult with a local matrimonial attorney and discover more since they deal with it all the time in Family Court, however, I am not at all certain you will get an ultimate answer on this question. Good luck.
Answer Applies to: New York
Replied: 6/3/2011
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