Can my ex-wife dictate that there are no overnights after the divorce paperwork is final? 45 Answers as of September 12, 2012

Now, that I live with my fiancé she wants to tell me that my fiancé has to leave when the kids come to stay the night.

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Law Office of Melvin Franke | Melvin Franke
It all depends upon what the judgment states.
Answer Applies to: Missouri
Replied: 9/12/2012
Lombardi Law LLC
Lombardi Law LLC | SUZANNE LOMBARDI
In Alaska unless there is something in the paperwork prohibiting it there is no way your wife can keep the children away from you even though you have a guest overnight. She may try to file for modification of custody and if she does she has to show a substantial change in circumstances. An attorney can help you respond to such paperwork so that your custody that is already ordered remains intact.
Answer Applies to: Alaska
Replied: 9/12/2012
The Law Office of Cathy R. Cook
The Law Office of Cathy R. Cook | Cathy R. Cook
If there is a court order giving you overnights with no restrictions, your ex is bound by that. If she wants to not have your fianc? there, she has to file a motion for that. Keep in mind, however, that courts often don't like children exposed to a new partner soon after the divorce or exposed to unmarried people sleeping together.
Answer Applies to: Ohio
Replied: 9/12/2012
ADELMAN & SEIDE, LLP
ADELMAN & SEIDE, LLP | GEORGE N. SEIDE
The court makes that order, if appropriate. Depends on age of the kids, etc. She can't make the order herself.
Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 9/12/2012
Dennis P. Mikko Attorney at Law | Dennis P. Mikko
If there is no prohibition on co-habitation in the Judgment of Divorce or other final order of the court, your ex-spouse cannot, on her own, dictate that your fiance cannot be there when the kids are there.
Answer Applies to: Michigan
Replied: 9/11/2012
    Havens Law, LLC
    Havens Law, LLC | William Havens Nebeker
    This all depends on what the Divorce Decree says. Within the Decree will be a Parenting Plan and other provisions related to what you and your ex must and must not do. Some Decrees do prohibit no overnight stays, others do not. You are your spouse may want to Modify the Decree to include something like that in it, so your ex might want to bring another action against you. For now, I'd look at your Divorce Decree and see what it says in there, or you can send it my way and I can ascertain what you can and can't do, which won't take long at all. Call or email me to find out exactly whether you can have your kids overnight while at your fiances.
    Answer Applies to: Utah
    Replied: 9/11/2012
    William C. Gosnell, Attorney at Law
    William C. Gosnell, Attorney at Law | William C. Gosnell
    Your ex is correct. Marry you fiance then the problem is solved.
    Answer Applies to: Tennessee
    Replied: 9/11/2012
    Law Offices of Arlene D. Kock
    Law Offices of Arlene D. Kock | Arlene D. Kock
    You need a court order to prevent your ex from disparaging your fiance. Unless there is an order by the judge preventing the kids from being with you while your fiancee is with you, the overnights should take place.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/10/2012
    Thomas P. Carnes, Attorney & Mediator | Thomas P. Carnes
    A morality clause such as you describe is not uncommon at least in more conservative parts of Texas. Your ex cannot impose it, but she can urge it, and many courts will grant and enforce such a request. With or without such a clause, it is generally not good for your kids or your relationship with them the shift gears too rapidly by exposing them to a new romantic partner during or soon after divorce.
    Answer Applies to: Texas
    Replied: 9/10/2012
    John Russo | John Russo
    Depends, The age of the children is very important when it comes to this issue. It is not uncommon in many jurisdictions that after the divorce the court would include a clause that states, " Both parties are enjoined and restrained from having an unrelated member of the opposite sex around the minor children on an overnight bases" Now in this day and age that is being modified to include love interest. But the reason for this clause should be apparent, if the children are under say 12, they are having enough problems dealing with this divorce, and that putting them in the middle of a new love interest right away is not only unfair, it is selfish, in the eyes of the court. The argument that MY CHILDREN ARE FINE WITH IT, will not fly if they are under 12 trust me. Now if they are teens that argument gets weaker. But with all things being equal you could expect the court to grant that request for at least a certain period of time.
    Answer Applies to: Rhode Island
    Replied: 9/10/2012
    Steven Alpers | Steven Alpers
    Only a judge can make an order like that. She would have to go to court and show the judge a reason that is bad for you kids other than her feelings.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/10/2012
    The Law Office of Eric J Smith
    The Law Office of Eric J Smith | Eric Smith
    You have a signed decree by a judge. That is the final word. If she denies you visitation or access based on any justification outside of that decree, she is in violation of the order and can be found in contempt of court.
    Answer Applies to: Texas
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Mary W Craig P.C. | Mary W Craig
    If the divorce decree doesn't state that you won't have someone of the opposite sex spend the night when the kids are there, then your fiancee can stay. If the decree says otherwise, then your fiancee needs to be absent when your kids come to visit. If the fiancee is the reason for the break-up, then your ex-wife has more than one agenda in keeping you home alone when the kids are there.
    Answer Applies to: Alabama
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Diefer Law Group, P.C.
    Diefer Law Group, P.C. | Abel Fernandez
    No. Your wife cannot dictate the visitation. You have the right to whatever the order states.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Musilli Brennan Associates PLLC
    Musilli Brennan Associates PLLC | John F Brennan
    She cannot enforce that without it being in the judgment. Get an attorney, you may need to file a motion to enforce your parenting time.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Diana K. Zilko, Attorney at Law
    Diana K. Zilko, Attorney at Law | Diana K. Zilko
    No. If she objects to the current order's terms, she would need to make a motion to the court and ask the custody/visitation portion to be modified. If she is denying you your ordered time, then you can file a motion with the court, or seek a contempt order for her disobeying a court order.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    The Law Office of Nathaniel M. Smith, LLC
    The Law Office of Nathaniel M. Smith, LLC | Nathaniel M. Smith
    You should speak with an attorney about your rights under the divorce decree, which I'd have to see before telling you what's what in your specific situation.
    Answer Applies to: Georgia
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    James T. Weiner & Associates, P.C.
    James T. Weiner & Associates, P.C. | James T. Weiner
    If it is not in the divorce judgment .. she cannot dicate it ... she can however file a motion to change the visitation .. which if she wins may affect child support.if she refuses to allow the kids to come to your home and the judgment requires it you should file a motion for an order to show cause why she is not following the court ordered visitation.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Mediation Services of Southwest Florida
    Mediation Services of Southwest Florida | Dennis J. Leffert, J.D.
    Terms of settlement cannot be amended without written agreement by both parties. If she if violating the Court Order, take her back to Court.
    Answer Applies to: Florida
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Robert J. Merlin, P.A.
    Robert J. Merlin, P.A. | Robert J. Merlin
    Your ex-wife has no power to do that.
    Answer Applies to: Florida
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Law Office of Joan M. Canavan | Joan Canavan
    She has no authority to enforce her request unless there is either an agreement between the two of you or a Court Order preventing you from having your girlfriend around when you have parenting time with your children.
    Answer Applies to: Massachusetts
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    The Law Offices of Mary Lyn T. Sanga, A Professional Corporation | Mary Lyn Tanawan Sanga
    The judgment spells out the custody arrangement between the parties. If there any changes that need to be made, the parties can talk it out among themselves or they can go to court. However, overnights of new partners cannot be restricted by the courts in the absence of obviously inappropriate behavior, such as intimate sexual behavior in the presence or hearing of the child. As long as expressions of affection are appropriate, they can take place in the child?s presence. The other parent?s jealousy or being upset about the new relationship is not sufficient basis to restrict the rights of free association of the parent with the new partner, even if it makes the child confused, afraid, angry, or sad (Marriage of Wellman (1980) 104 Cal App. 3d 992).
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Law Offices of Mark L. Wells, PC
    Law Offices of Mark L. Wells, PC | Mark L. Wells
    I had this exact case last year. No, if it is not in the agreement, then she cannot dictate how the visitation will go. To be sure, you can file a modification of child custody.
    Answer Applies to: Georgia
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    John E. Kirchner, Attorney at Law
    John E. Kirchner, Attorney at Law | John Kirchner
    Unless your divorce decree and parenting plan say something about conditions that must be met, your ex- doesn't have the legal authority to create new conditions only the court can do that. But, you need to recognize that there are legitimate reasons, both morally and practically, that it may not be good for your children to spend time with a stranger, especially one you are not married to. You need to listen to what the mother's concerns are and attempt to work to resolve those concerns; unless she is simply still unable to emotionally deal with losing you (i.e. jealousy) there are good reasons why she may have a valid concern and you should try to accommodate those concerns by moving slowly in changes to the children's life style.
    Answer Applies to: Colorado
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Rebecca Rainwater
    Rebecca Rainwater | Rebecca Rainwater
    If you were awarded overnights your wife cannot modify the order unless you agree. If you don't agree, she needs to file with the court to modify the order. If she withholds the child from you, you need to file. If the court thinks the mother is interfering with the visitation they can change custody if it is in the child's best interest.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Law Office of Cassandra Savoy
    Law Office of Cassandra Savoy | Cassandra Savoy
    No. If you have a parenting plan ordered by the court at the time of the divorce, that order remains in full force and effect pending further order of the court.
    Answer Applies to: New Jersey
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Barbara Fontaine, Esquire | Barbara Fontaine
    Until you are married again, it would not be a bad idea to have your fiance leave you with the children. She will be a distraction at your visits. And who knows that the relationship will last From your questions, it seems that you are only recently divorced, and too soon to have a fiance. Give the kids your undivided attention at least for quite a while. You will not be sorry.
    Answer Applies to: Rhode Island
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    T.K. Byrne | Timothy K. Byrne
    Read your divorce agreement. Those types of conditions are quite common.
    Answer Applies to: Mississippi
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Victor Varga | Victor Varga
    No, only the court can dictate that. File for custody/visitation, and argue why it's in the children's best interest to have overnights with you and your fiance, who is obviously an important part of your life, and so should also be a part of your children's lives as well.
    Answer Applies to: Maryland
    Replied: 9/9/2012
    Law Offices of Frances Headley | Frances Headley
    Assuming that you behave like an adult in front of your children and your fiance is not a convicted felon or child molestor the court is not going to agree with her demands about the overnight visits.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Law Office of Kathryn L. Hudson
    Law Office of Kathryn L. Hudson | Kathryn L. Hudson
    If your divorce order states that neither party may have overnight romantic guests when the children are present then yes she is correct, if the divorce order does not state so then no.
    Answer Applies to: Arkansas
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Peyton and Associates | Barbara Peyton
    Not necessarily. If she won't let you keep the same parenting schedule you had before the girlfriend moved in, take her back to court and talk to the mediators about it.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Attorney at Law | John P. Rivers
    In similar situations the request by a custodial parent that the noncustodial parent not shack up with a third party is not unreasonable and is, in fact, a proper request. That is neither a safe nor moral environment for a child. However, if that issue is not addressed in the paper work, and the request is made and the noncustodial parent does not comply with the request, the only effective option available to the custodial parent will be an action to modify the decree by restricting the visitation rights of the noncustodial parent.
    Answer Applies to: Georgia
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    R. Jason de Groot, P.A
    R. Jason de Groot, P.A | R. Jason de Groot
    She cannot do that once the divorce is final. And should not be doing it now. Get an attorney, is it not obvious that you need one.
    Answer Applies to: Florida
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Warner Center Law Offices of Donald F. Conviser
    Warner Center Law Offices of Donald F. Conviser | Donald F. Conviser
    If the Judgment provides that you get overnight visits with the children, your ex-wife can't dictate otherwise. Just be careful not to act inappropriately with your new mate around the children, i.e., keep your sexual intimacy private from them.
    Answer Applies to: California
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    The Davies Law Firm, P.A.
    The Davies Law Firm, P.A. | Robert F. Davies, Esq.
    No. You need a lawyer to sit down with you and give you some advice.
    Answer Applies to: New Jersey
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Law Office of James Lentz
    Law Office of James Lentz | James Lentz
    In Ohio she can always request, but cannot demand. A stern letter from your attorney may be enough to get visitation on the right track. If not, there are other ways to enforce the agreement. Discuss this with your divorce attorney before you do anything.
    Answer Applies to: Ohio
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Glenn E. Tanner
    Glenn E. Tanner | Glenn E. Tanner
    In Washington state, your contact with the children are dictated by a parenting plan. If she's not giving you the time allotted in your parenting plan, then she's in contempt of court and you can get her in trouble.
    Answer Applies to: Washington
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Beaulier Law Office
    Beaulier Law Office | Maury Beaulier
    Any court order for parenting time is enforceabe unless or until modifie by filing a Motion. It is possible that a court could prohibit overnight guests for a while when children are present.
    Answer Applies to: Minnesota
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    The Gardner Law Firm, PLC | Brandon Gardner
    Unless there is a provision in the order to the contrary, your ex-wife does not have any say as to where the kids stay when they are with you.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 9/7/2012
    Dunnings Law Firm
    Dunnings Law Firm | Steven Dunnings
    Follow whatever is provided in the judgment of divorce.
    Answer Applies to: Michigan
    Replied: 9/7/2012
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