Can my ex and his fiance tell me how to raise our son? 6 Answers as of May 01, 2014

We have joint legal custody. My ex and his fiance are telling me how to spend child support. They are saying that I have to spend it on him, even though I am paying for a roof and electric and anything else he needs. They meddle in my life. I live the next town over and we set my son up with baseball and a therapist in their town. I did it to help them because they think they have to be at every appointment for everything when I was told no. For his first game, I told them they might have to come get him and they threw a fit, asking why I can not give them money for gas. I run to the next town 3 or 4 times a week on top of picking him up every other weekend. I feel if I don't please them then they will take him away from me. On top of all this, I do not have my ex's number, I have HERS and I barely talk to him, it's ALWAYS her and if I don't talk to her then it's him but her in the background basically telling him what to say. Please help me.

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Law Office of Linda K. Frieder
Law Office of Linda K. Frieder | Linda K. Frieder, Esq.
It sounds like you are being manipulated. The child support is to provide for food and shelter. Basketball is a luxury that should be paid for at your discretion. You ex should share in the transportation. Look at your custody agreement/ support agreement. If it does not spell out the minutia, maybe you can get together and work out an agreement to stop the petty fighting.
Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 5/1/2014
Peters Law, PLLC
Peters Law, PLLC | Mark T. Peters, Sr.
Raise the kid the way you deem best. If he files for a change in custody, he will have to prove that there has been a significant and material change in circumstances. It doesn't sound like there has been.
Answer Applies to: Idaho
Replied: 5/1/2014
Fran Brochstein
Fran Brochstein | Fran Brochstein
In Texas, child support is used to help pay food, clothing and shelter for the child. They cannot tell you how to use the money. I think you need to meet with a family law attorney to discuss this situation. Parents are supposed to co-parent. The fiance is not a parent to this child. But it is obvious that she controls dad. You might consider using mediation to work with the two of you. If he is not married to her, then she cannot attend the mediation. You should have his cell phone number and work number in case there is ever an emergency. Also, I cannot understand why you have the child is activities away from his home. It sounds like you are easily intimidated. You definitely need to talk to an attorney.
Answer Applies to: Texas
Replied: 5/1/2014
Law Offices of Arlene D. Kock
Law Offices of Arlene D. Kock | Arlene D. Kock
Child-support covers all the general support and maintenance features of caring for a child. Support is not designated for specific expenditures. The problems that you discuss concerning your exes fiance should be resolved by returning to court and getting a court order mandating that parenting communication only be between the parents.
Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 5/1/2014
Diane l. Berger | Diane L. Berger
The short answer is that if you have joint legal custody you have as much right to make decisions as they do.
Answer Applies to: Nebraska
Replied: 5/1/2014
    John Russo | John Russo
    Lots of luck, this sounds like the classic uncompromising situation. First of all tell him politely to just make sure the support is paid, you are correct the support is for the general welfare, i.e. food shopping, rent, heat , utilities, gas for your vehicle, and cloths for the child, etc , the support numbers are the basic minimums that the federal government has determined it cost to raise a child based upon your combined gross incomes. Child support is mandated by the federal government and implemented by the States. Secondly his girlfriend has absolutely nothing to add to how this child is raised, zero, nothing, matter of fact you should demand his contact numbers and refuse to discuss anything with her, fiance, that term seems to be the new terminology for people who live together, this is my fiance, well then get married, I answered a question the other day where the women stated that she and her fiance will be getting married in 5 years, YEAH OK, again she has absolutely zero to say about this child. Sorry to say this but you seem to be a little timid, and seem to be more concerned with what they say, or how they will feel, as long as you are a good parent there is very little chance that the court would order a change of placement for this child. What you need to do is stand up a little for yourself, don't make it a war between you and the father, but you need to just ignore some of their unreasonable demands. Lastly, be careful, bending to their will all the time may end up hurting you down the road, i.e. they may work on this child behind your back to convince him that he wants to come live with dad, so that when he gets older say 14 or 15 he may have been brained washed enough to start saying he wants to live with his father, NOW, don't panic the wishes of the child as they become older are given more weight, but there are other prongs, test, that the court needs to look at besides just the child's wishes. In short, just yeah,yeah them to death and worry about taking care of your son.
    Answer Applies to: Rhode Island
    Replied: 5/1/2014
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