Can my children be taken from me because of an extra marital affair? 2 Answers as of July 12, 2013

My husband knows I've been having an extra marital affair. He is going to take my children away from me because of the affair, will he be able to do that? To compound matters, He has also threatened to take the kids because I have no job. I have been a stay at home mom for the last 4 years. Could I gain custody with no job?

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Fredric H. Aaron, Attorney at Law, P.C.
Fredric H. Aaron, Attorney at Law, P.C. | Fredric Harlan Aaron
In general, an extra marital affair in and of itself is not grounds for losing custody of your children. Your husband would need to show that somehow your extra marital affair somehow endangered or adversely affected the welfare of your children. For example, if the person with whom you are having the affair is a drug addict, violent criminal or has a history of abuse of children. In the absence of any evidence like this, your husband's threat may have no substance. In addition, your unemployment should have no impact on your ability to keep and retain custody of your children. If anything, the fact that you have been a "stay at home mom" for the last four years may actually make it more likely that you will get custody of the children, since it seems clear that you are their primary caregiver.
Answer Applies to: New York
Replied: 7/12/2013
Theodore W. Robinson, P.C.
Theodore W. Robinson, P.C. | Theodore W. Robinson
You can relax a bit. The mere fact that you had an extra-marital affair is not a basis for taking custody away from you. At least as long as you did not neglect or abuse the children by doing so. And you can get custody of the children, even without a job. However,custody is no longer a "slam dunk" in the world of divorce and you should hire an attorney who will assist you. Your spouse should be required to pay your counsel fees at least to the extent that he is paying his own counsel fees. The Courts want equality in representation in most cases. Good luck.
Answer Applies to: New York
Replied: 5/19/2011
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