Can he still go to jail or get pressed charges? 2 Answers as of January 03, 2013

If my ex boyfriend is 17 and I am 14, this year he is turning 18 and I'm turning 15, we never had sex, never done anything like that, can my family still put him in jail or put a charge on him, even if we broke up, don't talk, no sexual activity was ever involve.

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Lawyer for Independent Media
Lawyer for Independent Media | Sue Basko
Under California law, it is illegal for anyone under age 18 to have sex. Even if both the boy and girl are both under age 18, if they have sex, they can both be charged with sex crimes. If an older person has sex with a younger person, depending on the age difference, the older person can be charged as a sexual predator and be forced to be on sexual predator registries for life. If you are dating an older teenage man, you are setting the stage for his life being permanently ruined. Don't do it to him or to yourself.


Your parents have an obligation to keep you from any situation that may lead to you having sex before you are 18. A couple of handy rules are to date only people your same age and grade in school and to wait till you are in college to have any sex. And then, only do so after you have a good contraception (birth control) plan in place and working.

Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 1/3/2013
Lawyer for Indie Media
Lawyer for Indie Media | Sue Basko
Thanks for writing. I wish I knew a little bit more about your situation. It sounds as if your family has complained to the police about your ex-boyfriend. It would be up to the police and prosecutor whether any charges would be brought against your ex-boyfriend. That would depend on exactly what happened. If something illegal happened, it would depend what it was and what the statute of limitations on that exact criminal charge is, to know if it could still be prosecuted. What this means is that every kind of criminal charge has a due date by which it must be prosecuted.


Your parents could not and cannot allow you to have a boyfriend who is much older than you, or an adult. If your parents allowed you to do this, it would be neglect and child endangerment on their part. So they were and are legally obliged to make you stop seeing him and to order him to stay away from you. If they had to call the police to make him stay away from you, they did what they needed to do.


Since you call this man your "boyfriend," it sounds as if you did carry on a relationship of some sort with him. You should not have done this. You are legally obliged to obey your parents about this and if you do not, your own parents can report you as being "Incorrigible" and can have you placed in an institution. Most parents would hate to do any such thing, but if you persist in disobeying your parents, this may be what it comes to. They are required to protect you and if you fight them on this, you may need to be in an enclosed, supervised setting.


When you are 14 or 15, you should probably not be dating anyone, let alone an older man. In the eyes of the law, you are considered a child, and you are under the custody and control of your parents. They are responsible for taking care of you and keeping you out of danger. They need your cooperation on this. Take my word for it - no normal 17 or 18 year old man wants to date a child, unless he has problems. Your parents are right to keep you away from him, no matter what they need to do to make that happen. It's their obligation to do that.


Any older man who comes around trying to date a child can be assumed to be a sexual predator and should be treated as such. It can seem flattering that an older man likes you. That is part of the game of sexual predators and socially maladjusted people. They flatter you to get you to go along with their unhealthy desires.


At your age, you should be doing things such as learning to play a musical instrument, being on sports teams, being in school clubs, and volunteering. When you are a few years older, you will be ready to date. At that time, I hope you will discuss with your parents how to pick good boys with whom to spend time.

Answer Applies to: Illinois
Replied: 1/3/2013
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