Can a 15 year old child decide whether or not she's gonna go with me during my visitation times? 4 Answers as of July 27, 2013

In a split custody situation, can my 15 year old daughter decide whether or not she wants to come with me during my visitation? Does she have that choice? Her father and I get along very well, however he feels he can't make her come with me. And she is a typical teen daughter that wants her way and we don't always see eye to eye. But I love her deeply. And just want my time with her.

Ask a Local Attorney. 100% Anonymous. Free Answers.

Free Case Evaluation by a Local Lawyer: Click here
Elizabeth Jones, A Professional Corporation
Elizabeth Jones, A Professional Corporation | Elizabeth Jones
No. She is still legally a child. However, is someone going to drag her to the car or in some other way physically force her to go? And does it hurt or help you if you force the issue. Since you and sad get along get him more I involved in helping your daughter see value in her time with you. And maybe you can work on seeing eye to eye with her a little more.
Answer Applies to: California
Replied: 7/27/2013
John Russo | John Russo
So lets get past that love her to death stuff, and look at this from a non-emotional position. Remember when you were 15 or 16? I am sure you wanted to be with one of your parents instead of one of your friends, she is growing up and starting to have a social life, and unfortunately you and your ex are not going to interfere with that if she can help it. What are your options here? You allege that you get along with your ex well, so if that is the case then I am sure he advocates for you on this issue, so what do you do? Can't take him back to court on contempt alleging that he is interfering in your parent child relationship because he is on your side, so again what do you do? Take her to court, yeah that will work, the judge will, excuse the expression, think you are nuts, judges start to back off on enforcing visitation schedules with the child, when they are not really children anymore, good judges understand this issue, and realize that you can no longer force a 15 or 16 year old to spend a Saturday night going out with mom, or dad, when Diane is having a bunch of friends over for a pool party or there is a dance at the school, its difficult but the more you force the issue the more she will pull away, you did it, I did it, its part of experiencing life. A long answer to basically tell you that the courts won't enforce visitation at this age, unless you caught a real wacky judge, and they are out but on this issue I don't see it. When two (2) people divorce or split-up and there are children involved it is very difficult since you do not get the time to spend with each other that you would have if everything remained the same, I know, I do it for a living, and have for a long time, and am pretty good at it if I do say so myself, the one thing that I found promising in your post was the relationship you stated you have with her father, that was a pleasant surprise, since I have seen parents use their children against each other all to often over my career , and believe it or not it is the one thing I will not tolerate from my clients, i.e. putting the children in the middle, it happens all the time and much to much, and then people wonder why kids get all screwed up. The one thing most parents fail to understand, especially with young children, at the time of a divorce many, many children blame themselves for their parents splitting up, that is factual they will never admit it to you, but trust me they do, so again back off a little she will come around , maybe not like she did when she was little girl, but she will.
Answer Applies to: Rhode Island
Replied: 7/27/2013
Musilli Brennan Associates PLLC
Musilli Brennan Associates PLLC | John F Brennan
The parents, not the children, control and the court order governs. It is best she learn that there are powers greater than hers desires in this life. It you think she can run the show at 15, think of the next three years.
Answer Applies to: Michigan
Replied: 7/27/2013
Peggy M. Raddatz
Peggy M. Raddatz | Peggy M. Raddatz
In Illinois she cannot decide she does not want to go until 18.
Answer Applies to: Illinois
Replied: 7/26/2013
Click to View More Answers: